When do I miss my brother?
My wonderful, beloved brother Ben passed away about 5 years ago at the age of 48.
Now, I am 48.
Five years is a long time. And not.
I feel a weird, vague responsibility to live for two now.
Before he died, he learned that he was expecting a grandchild. Now, I have a two-year-old grandchild, Zoiee. In Greek, zoe means life.
Ben, having a grandchild is great! Now you have a whole tribe of them!
I miss him when I am asked my age.
“Forty-eight”
“My brother died at age forty-eight”
“My mom was 56 when she died.”
I miss him when I am asked about my family. “Do you have any brothers or sisters?”
Two brothers and two sisters.
My brother died when he was 48, my age.
We teach English conversation to kids, so these questions come up a lot. They are generally not interested in who died at what age.
For a while I was saying I had one brother and two sisters, but that seemed disloyal.
I miss him when I wash the dishes, because I remember a conversation we had about germs and water temperature and various cultures’ different ways of washing dishes.
“In Britain they don’t even rinse the dishes”
“In Japan , they often use cold water.”
“You do know it is not the hot water that kills the germs, right?”
“I suppose so, doc, but if the water is hot enough, they will dry thoroughly and then the germs will die, right?”
I miss him when the Cardinals are mentioned, or Joe Torre, or any former Cardinal, or baseball.
How many times did we listen to the LP of the highlights of the World Champion Seasons in 1964, 1967, and etc?
1967?
Ben Arthur Rogers
Born May 5, 1954
Died December 24, 2002
Five years is not a long time
Getting a head-start on eternity is not so bad after all.
Below is from my brother Eddie:
When do I not miss him?i would agree with that. I think of him when the kids say something that I think he would enjoy. I often want to start talking about him to fairly random people who I think should have known him. Often they don’t care or are uncomfortable. I have told the boys about the LPs of the world champs. You knew, I suppose, that he had a son-in-law at the WS last year?
I often wish for just a few minutes with him and mom. And anyone that I know at all that dies, I think of the 3 of them visiting.
And sometimes I just hurt.
I saw L C at HU at a soccer game (we went to see a college roommate of Kathy’s). We just basically said hi and I wanted to tell her that I miss her uncle. But didn’t.
I don’t know that writing this does me any good, but it did me good to read what you wrote.
You are a good man!
Below is from the online Daily Dunklin Democrat
OBITUARY
Ben Rogers
Ben A. Rogers, 48, of Roseville, Ill., died Tuesday, Dec. 24, 2002, at Methodist Medical Center in Peoria, Ill.
Born May 5, 1954, in Piggott, Ark., he was a son of Rue “Porter” Rogers of Piggott and the late Ruby McReynolds Rogers. He graduated from Crowleys Ridge College and Logan Chiropractic. He was a member of the Christian Church in Roseville and a volunteer in prison ministries.
On Feb. 5, 1983 in Columbia, Mo., he married Marcia Crowder who survives.
Other survivors include a son Nathan Ramos and wife, Cheryn, of Macomb, Ill.; two daughters Tamara Suefferlein and husband, Dan, of Waterloo, Iowa and Maria Rogers of Joplin, Mo.; two brothers, Eddie Rogers and wife, Kathy, of Little Rock, Ark. and Brent Rogers and wife, Sandy, of Japan; and two sisters, Beth Noble of Macomb and Ruanne Rogers of Little Rock.
He was preceded in death by one brother, David Rogers.
Memorial services will be 11 a.m. Saturday, Jan. 11, 2003, at the Roseville Christian Church under direction of the Cremation Society of Mid-Ill. Co.
Burial of ashes will be in Stice Cemetery in Swan Township.
Memorials may be made to the Roseville Christian Church Mission Fund.
brentwrogers.com